Open Question: I am starting to hate my family! Do I tell the Psychologist?
They seriously do not understand what I am going through, no matter how much I try to explain, well how much they let me explain. My brother doesn't even care about it and he uses the fact that I suffer from both of these to make fun of me and mock me by going, "Nobody understands me, I'm going to kill myself!" And laughs at me, even though I never say I'll kill myself. And if I try to tell my Mum how Depression and Anxiety make me feel she shouts at me and tells me to shut up about it and stop being so self centered, and if I keep trying to explain she screams at me and will try to hit me and starts calling me names, I'm 17 and she shouldn't be trying to hit me but anyway. If I am in bed in the day or go to bed early she goes, "Why the Hell are you going to bed you're ******* lazy!" And I'll say, "I'm not, I don't feel well." And she goes, "Oh you ******* hypochondriac there is nothing wrong with you, you think the worlds revolves around you!" Sometimes she'll pull the covers off me so I need to get up, once she even poured a bit of cold water on my head to make sure I got out of bed. Whenever I make any attempt to speak to her, about Depression or not, she just tells me to shut up or go away or that she is busy, or to stop lingering around her, sometimes she'll scream at me if I keep talking to her and go, "I don't care! Go away!" And it gives me a lump in my throat and I go to bed and get upset, and she knows I get upset but doesn't give a damn. When I can't go to college, or I come home early because of the Anxiety and I have near enough panic attacks, or I have them in a shop, she goes, "You freak! Do you want me to get you sectioned! You're not gonna be able to go far in life if you don't talk to people!" My Dad doesn't live with us but he sometimes visits, and if I try to talk to him about anything he goes, "I don't care!" Randomly, it makes me go speechless and just slowly walk away, if I try to show him a funny video on my iPod or something he'll randomly go, "Get that ******* iPod out of my face!" And if he is in a bad mood he'll use my Depression to upset me by saying cruel things like, "Your sister is having a baby, once the baby is born nobody will care about you anymore, you'll be forgotten." Or stuff like, "You haven't got friends anymore, you don't go out, do you really think your old friends like you? Nobody likes you!" Or, "You freak, nobody cares about you or anything you do, go back to your room, or should I say, your pit!" And girls think I am good looking, I dunno if I am, I'm not vein, but you can judge by my picture, but my family always call me ugly and call me a tramp, I never get spots, so when I do rarely get them, they make me know about it! Always going, "Look at that spot on your face you little tramp, are you gonna go out like that!" Or even if there is nothing wrong with me they'll go, "Look at the state of you, people must laugh at you." Or, "You should wear a mask, and only show your eyes because nobody wants to see your face." It makes me want to disappear, I really am starting to hate them, I would never go crazy or anything like a psycho, but on February 8th I am going to see a Psychologist, I don't like my family but I still love them, so do I tell the Psychologist all this? Will they get in trouble, I hope not.
Mr. D: It isn't a case of "Growing up" Depression is an ilness, not just an emotion, what I suffer from are more than just feelings. ¬_¬