Open Question: I cut myself. What’s the deal?
Okay...I'm opening myself up to flamers by just the title. But so be it. I cut. And no. I am not a pessimistic person, and I act happy and normal around my friends and at school, AS WELL as at home. :/ So that should eliminate a few comments. But this is what I don't get. Nothings wrong in my life. The closest thing I've had to a 'problem' that would mean anything is that two years ago my step father (Who I referred to as just my dad) ended up being a douche (Pardon the language) and lashed out on my mother and I, and I had just seen a completely different side of him for the next month. We moved to an apartment a little after those two months and my mom was a wreck and she leaned on me. Now, that caused my mom and I to get away from him by, littearly, taking what we could fit in our car and driving across the US short after. That's my 'traumatic event' some of you might say be causing it. But seriously. Does that even sound like one? it's not, and in all seriousness, it doesn't bother me at all, ESETIALLY after two years. I stopped cutting for a while. But it started up again. As bad as it sounds, I saw it there and one thing lead to another and I just swiped it across my leg. It offered me relief and I welcomed it. No. It's not for attention. And it's not to kill myself. I mean, granted, I want to die, but...I'm 'afraid' I guess. And it's not like I have any specific reason for not wanting too. I just, in general, don't want to live. But that's not why I do this. I mean I guess not yet. No, nobody knows since I just did this two days ago. I'm afraid that, if my mom and her husband found out, they'd be mad. Last time I did this, she just gave me this look and was all like, '___, stop cutting.', in this voice that was full of sarcasm like she would have laughed if I weren't her daughter. I think she believes I'm doing this for attention. It pisses me off. So yeah. Uh...Anything? I don't know. I just kind of want to understand. Uhm...Just so you know, I'm fifteen, and have been told I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) which again, my mom just waves off as nothing. - - It aggravates me. Cause that's what I get when I tell her something.