Open Question: i feel empty and sad all the time and i dont know what to do anymore?
by John Kernstein on October 2, 2009
im a 14 year old girl and i've had problems with anxiety since i was about 10. i was depressed when i was 11 and i went to counseling and it got better. when i was 13 i got depressed again and started cutting. i went to counseling and i stopped. this year my doctor diagnosed me with pm-dd but i don't think that's what i have. (pm-dd is severe pms.) i feel sad and empty all the time but it only shows when im pmsing because i cant control it well enough. the pill doesn't really help it. i have weird thoughts to but i think that might just be me. im not scared of dying or anything. i really don't have any fear in things normal people don't want to happen. i see no point in life and its all just so worthless. i would never commit suicide but i think about death and dying all the time and i have morbid thoughts of my friends and family dying and i see there bodies and stuff. there is something wrong with me but i don't know what it is. i want to go back to counseling but they always say im fine after a month and then it gets worse again. what can i do? sometimes i have to stay home from school because im crying so much and i can't stop. my mom says im depressed but nobody can help me.
i did try jesus. i've been a christian all my life. i just don't get why i feel like this because i look around and see everybody happy but i feel like im looking up at the world from underwater and im stuck down here and i cant be happy with the other people.
thankyou for the answers but i've tried everything. i tried distracting myself, escaping through reading, covering it up, drinking, cutting, and my latest one is sleeping. i don't want to live like this trying to cover up my feelings. i just want them gone.