Open Question: Im in a dilema> what should i do?

when i first met my husband he was everything i wanted in a man. he listened to me, was very attentative to my needs, very sensitive and compassionate. well it seems as soon as i said "i do" he made a complete 360. i know i only dated him for 11mths then married him so quickly but then again i was very immature at the time , i was only 23. ever since he joined the military we dont get the time to spend with each other as much and one time when i was 9mths pregnant i discovered he was talking to a woman that was a known slut while he was in ait training.ever since that i dont trust him and give him a hard time til this day and he wonders why. i wanted to give up and divorce then but he cried and begged me to not leave saying he would be better and things will get better and saying he didnt cheat that he was just talking to her, ok so i trusted him and stayed with him. after that he got sent to korea he then started back up again playing phone games and being secretive then again told me things would be better once he got back and we live together like we are doing now in colorado. i know ppl r not perfect but even while being here we dont really talk or connect like we use to i even got so frustrated that i put my hands on him a couple of times. everytime i tell him i want to leave he makes an excuse to try to keep me here in misery. i mean ppl i know everyone is 100% perfect but i feel like im in a marriage thats not going anywhere and what ive been thru in life requires me to have a deep emotional connection with someone. and he is not fulfilling that need for me even half way. yes he provides for the family and pays the bills but thats not enough. i was very independent b4 i met him and ran in to some problems occassionally and needed his help and he did help me out but he often tries to use that against me to make me think i cant survive on my own which isnt true. i do have a cna certification i mean thats not much but that is something to use until i go higher. right now its hard for me to stay with employment because we move from place to place and he often gives me anxiety telling me i wont go get a job not realizing that ive had 4 jobs here and couldnt keep any of them due to having a baby under the age of 1yr that requires childcare which its hard for me to pay and find at times.... like i said i dont know what to do and this marriage isnt right. it boils down to no communication, no consideration, no romance and no respect for feelings.... and mind you we only been married 2yrs. and im soooo not feeling this anymore. it doesnt matter how may convesations i attempt to having with him telling him things need to make a drastic changes seems like it goes in one ear and out the other with him im so tired of living this way. and the only time he actually shows some type of feeling for me is when hes on his way to deploy... i mean why cant he show this all the long... why only when hes leaving....im tired ppl...... but to be honest i need i need a deep emotional connection thats the type of person i am... and im not getting that from him. his habits are also pushing me away the cursing, smoking, dirty living.. i clean and clean and clean and still mess, try to tell him stop smoking he wont even try to stop for the kid. im tired. no connection is mainly why i wanna leave though. and not taking me seriously hurts.

Tagged as: Anxiety, Cna Certification, Emotional Connection, Excuse, Hard Time, Independent, Korea, Marriage, Met, Misery, One Time, Open Question, Phone Games, Ppl, Pregnant, Slut, Woman